Crazie Pie and Totty
by Gibbons6
Summary: I hope somepony finds this. It details the rise of Crazie Pie. How she infiltrated Canterlot of Equestria, and all that took place in those days.


I am glad if you have found this. I am writing this so that everypony will know the facts of what has happened here. I have done a lot of research into all of the events that have taken place and have found the truth. Well as close to it as I can. I have written this as a story for it is the only way that somepony who was not there would ever truly understand.

I suppose I will start with the weekend everything really started. In a small Ice Cream Parlor in Hoovesdail.

* * *

"Hi Totty" said Crazie Pie with a sly grin on her face. As she walked up to the counter in front of that Totty, a dark green pegasus with a sky blue mane.

"Howdy Crazie I like your new hat it is shiny... is it made of tinfoil?" Totty replied in his typical clueless voice. Don't get me wrong he was not stupid just... let's say innocent.

"Yeah" Crazie said as she puffed up her chest. "It keeps the brain control out, and my mind all nice a squeaky clean" she said as she proceeded to squeak. "They call it brainwashing, but that is a lie, just what they want you to think."

She said loudly as she slammed her hoof on the counter between her and Totty. A large bowl of Sweet Grass flavored ice cream bounced up and started to fall off the counter. Totty rushed over and caught the bowl in his mouth.

"You almost wasted this ice cream. That would have been horrible." Totty shook with fear. "I have to get this ice cream to its table, I am working..." and at that the bowl began to slip from his mouth. "...Woooow... almost dropped it." Totty then flew over to a table with a small nice looking family a dad, mom, and two little fillies. Totty set down the ice cream. "Here is your order, will that be it?" Totty asked with a confused look on his face.

"No this is plenty of all of us." The father said.

"OK then."

Totty trotted back to Crazie hopped over the counter using his wings to let him jump high enough to clear the counter. "They did not get much ice cream. 30 scoops is barely enough for me I do hope the kids get some." Totty said with a concerned look on his face, and in the next breath he excitedly exclaimed "Did you come to by some ice cream?"

"No, I need you for something."

"Is it eating more food, cause last time it made me feel bad."

"No, but that poison did work very well I can use that at some point. It is a good thing I have that regeneration spell or you would have died."

"Hahaha. That is funny Crazie. You have the weirdest sense of humor."

"Anyway, there is a duck in the park across the street that I am pretty sure is watching me, so you coming or not?"

"I can't just shut down Inside Scoop every time you come, the after dinner rush will be coming soon, there are people who want ice cream and I will not let them go without."

"Fine I will have some ice cream, but first I have to go take care of that duck." Crazie Pie ran out the door shouting

"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!?"

* * *

Finishing up her ice cream Crazie Pie looked at Totty as he clocked out. "Are you ready?"

"Ya. What are we doing again? I forgot?"

"I did not tell you."

"Oh yeah I remember now, just let me grab some ice cream I get free ice cream you know I still don't know how I  
got this job. I mean it is the best job in all of Equestria."

"You sat outside my door every day for a month asking if I had any openings" Mr. Ies the owner shouted from the back room. Mr. Ies was a big blue earth pony, the kind of pony that you would not want to meet in an alleyway at night; that is, by his appearances at least he looked like a bear on four hooves, his Cutie Mark was a bear, a teddy bear that is, and that fit him better then anything else.  
Mr. Ies glared around the corner looking Crazie right in the eyes "you better not hurt Totty here he is a nice colt and I still don't know why he hangs out with you."

"YOU DO NOT CONTROL ME... my hat protects me from your mind control." Crazie immediately replied with both a sense of protectiveness and pride in her voice. "Besides all mortals should bow before me."  
Totty pulled his face out of a now empty ice cream bucket, his face covered in Sunflower ice cream. "Are you two having a screaming contest? Can I join in? I CAN YELL REALLY LOUDLY!"

"No Totty we are not having a screaming contest. I was just concerned for you." Ies replied.

"Oh..." Totty said as he started to wipe the ice cream off his face. "you do not have to worry I will be with Crazie she will protect me."

"That is what I am worried about." looking back to Crazie Mr. Ies asked "where are you two going this time?"

"You... you are in league with the duck aren't you? You want to follow me and ruin everything, but you will never know. Mwhhhahahahahaha." Then Crazie vanished in a flash of smoke as she teleported somewhere. Then the front door came open as Crazie's head peeked in. "Coming or not Totty?"

"Well I have to go now Mr. Ies, and don't worry I will see you on Monday have a good weekend. I will be with Crazie the whole time, and she is the best at magic, just look at her Cutie Mark." Totty was right. Crazie was the best unicorn at magic, may be not in all of Equestria, but for sure in the town of Hoovesdail. Crazie's Cutie Mark was a crystal ball with a voodoo doll leaning up against it. The ball had some green smoke coming off of it which stood out against Crazie's tannish orangeish brown skin. Totty on the other hand had a very simple Cutie Mark just a bowl of ice cream with three scoops in it Vanilla on top, Chocolate on the bottom closest to his flank, and strawberry right next to the Chocolate, all of that with a big heart surrounding the whole bowl and the ice cream. Totty had always known what he liked. He was the first in his class to get his cutie mark. Totty was a simple pony with simple plans.

"Goodbye kid, have a good weekend." Mr. Ies said as with a hint of concerned tone in his voice. Totty walked out of the door. "I worry about that one, he is a good kid, but the company he keeps." Ies said under his breath.

* * *

"soooooooo Are you going to tell me where we are going now?" Totty said as he leaned against Crazie as his eyes grew bigger and his bottom lip quivered.

"I can't tell you now anypony could be watching." Crazie replied as she nervously looked around.

"We are standing at a train station in the middle of the night, you payed for my tickets, so I have no idea where we are going, and how am I supposed to get excited, when I have no idea what we are doing? I know it is a surprise party, but my birthday is not for another 232 days... so it is not mine, but I suppose it would be a surprize if you suprised me right now." Totty smiled with a look in his eyes seeming to ask is that it, did I guess it?  
Crazie never got a chance to answer, because the train pulled up, and Totty was too excited. A small old pony stepped out, of the opening door. He was wearing a conductor's hat. He was gray and his cutie mark was a train ticket. The few ponies that were on the waiting area picked up their bags and walked towards the conductor, as he shouted "tickets please for Appleloosa, Ponyville and Canterlot" in a crackly yet loud old cult's voice. One by one they all got into the train.

"Ticket please" The conductor put out his hoof towards Crazie. Crazie leaned over and sniffed his hoof.

"You can never be too careful." Crazie remarked as she stared the old pony in the eyes and put her tickets in to his hoof. He chuckled nervously; Crazie had that effect on ponies. He clipped both Craz's and Totty's tickets.

"Going to ponyville I see." The conductor barely finished before Totty flow into the air and clapped his hooves together.

"Ponyville? I love Ponyville they have ice cream, good ice cream." Totty suited in joy as he slowly lowered himself to the ground.  
As Totty did this Crazie leaned towards the conductor until her face was inches away from his, and she was balancing on her two front legs, she looked him deep in the eyes as her horn began to glow. "Who told you?" She posed "Was it the duck?"

"What duck?" the conductor replied. The conductor took a step back as Crazie fell forward. "It says on your ticket ma'ma."

"Okey Dokey." Crazie said in a sweet voice as she jumped up. "I would have been able to tell, if you were lying." With that Crazie turned as Totty touched the ground. "Come on Totty." She said as she levitated her bag shortly behind her.

Totty grabbed the conductor and hugged him. "Thank you soooooo much I don't know how you figured it out, but I have been trying to guess where we were going for like 14 minutes, it was killing me." Totty let go of the old pony. Oh do you have ice cream? I love ice cream. I hope there is ice cream." Totty said as he trotted in to the train.  
"It is going to be one of those nights, isn't it?" The conductor said.

Crazie walked down the narrow train hallway looking for their cart. "A4 here it is and no prime numbers, good, those things are always getting in my way." Crazie opened the door with her magic, only to find out that their room already had a pony in it.

She was a purple earth pony with a blue mane and tail. She was just a filly, not even a cutie mark on her flank yet. With a lollipop in her mouth, she looked up at them.

"Who are you this is our cart?" Crazie said in a near monotone voice.

"Ah howdy Ah had almost figured Ah'd be all by my lonesome in this here cart, my name is Licky Lou. Ah hope y'all are fixin to get some z's cause Ah sure am tired."

"Do you plan on killing me in my sleep?" Crazie said as she squinted and Totty shoved his way into the cart.

"Are you a cowboy?" Totty said as his eyes sparkled with a child like look of amazement.

"Well Ah reckon Ah am a cowgirl." Licky said as she removed the Lollipop from her mouth. "You got yourself a mite crazy friend over there." She motioned to Crazie.

Totty jumped backwards "your psychic. You guessed her name."

"Totty don't be silly I'm wearing my tinfoil she can't read my mind." Crazie said without looking away from Licky.

"Riiiiight..." Totty said. "Then how did you know?"  
Licky put the lolipop back into her mouth. "Ah reckon that, y'all fell a little too far from the apple tree."

"No we never fell out of a tree. Well I did once." Totty replied.

"Ah'm goin to go to sleep now." Licky Lou said as she lay down on the double seat.

"Do you live in Appleloosa?" Crazie asked, still holding her eye contact.

"Yep." Licky proudly proclaimed.

"Maybe prime numbers aren't so bad" Crazie said under her breath. "Could you do something for me?"

"Does it involve licking anything?"

"No. I need somepony to take this statue just to the south side of Appleloosa." Crazie pulled out a small statue of a hissing lizard with sharp fangs jutting out of its mouth.

"Why do you need me to do that?"

"Don't ask questions. I am the one asking questions. Will you do it?"

"Can Ah sleep if Ah say yep?"

"I will permit you to stay."

"Fine hand it over Ah'll do it. Why do you want me to?"

"I found this at a flea market and just knew it belonged in the desert." Crazie replied as she looked away for the first time.

"What ever floats your boat pumpkin." Licky said as she layed down and started to go to sleep.  
Crazie looked over to her side only to find Totty had long since passed out sprawled over the whole bench. "I knew prime numbers were evil." Crazie said as she lay down on the floor.

* * *

"Ponyville next stop." A loud voice came over the intercom.  
Crazie lifted her head to find Totty's eyes staring her in the face. At some point in the night he had crawled out of the chair he was sleeping in and was now snuggling next to Crazie.

"Totty what are you doing!" Crazie jumped up.

"You were cold so I was keeping you warm." Totty yawned and started to stretch. "Did I do something wrong?" Totty asked as he cocked his head to the side like a puppy.

"You were sleeping on my map. You could have wrinkled it, but don't worry it seems fine." Crazie levitated her map back into her bag.

"That is good, I..." Totty started, but at that moment the train stopped. The intercom voice said "Everypony off for Ponyville."

Totty let out a gasp of joy. "We are here!" He exclaimed as he ran out of the cart.  
Crazie grabbed her bag and trotted out into the hallway. "Come on Crazie!" Totty shouted as he poked his head around the corner.

When Crazie got off the train, Totty was jumping up and down with joy. He stopped suddenly with a look on his face that made it clear he had forgotten something very important. "Crazie... I have done something very silly." He said as he looked at the ground trying to avoid eye contact.

"You did not eat the lollipop I put into that Filly's bag did you!?" Crazie said with a look of fear in her eyes.

"No not, that. Wait you gave her a lollipop? I forgot to ask, why are we here?"

Crazie let out a sigh of relief "That's good I don't have the regeneration spell ready right now." Crazie looked around suspiciously "I need to see a friend." She said in a hushed voice.

"A friend YAY I like friends, I like friends a lot. This is not one of our friends that will hurt me, is it?" Just at that moment a pony tackled Crazie from the side. All Totty saw was a pink blur.

"OOH OOH OOH, I knew it my Pinkie sense told me that somepony I had not seen in a long time would be coming to visit!" Pinkie Pie said in a loud voice, as she stood on top of Crazie Pie, her pink bushy tail waving back and forth like a dog, her three balloon cutie mark moving side to side as her flank did. "This is so exciting almost as exciting as the time you came to my half birthday party with your dad, but we did not see each other very often when we were young and what could possibly be more exciting than seeing a friend you have not seen in a long time?"  
"PINKIE!" Totty exclaimed and he glomped her off of Crazie, Totty had meant Pinkie last time he was in Ponyville.

"Pinkie that is ridiculous how could your Pinkie Senses possibly tell the future. A flapping ear and sore hoof is no way to see the future..."

"Okie dokie lokie if you say so." Pinkie got out just before she began to giggle as Totty started to tickle her.  
"...and Totty" Crazie continued, almost ignoring Pinkie. "I do not know; I have never met this friend before, not in person, at least. This is the only place we can talk properly."

"OK." Totty said as he looked up at Crazie. Pinkie flipped him over and started to tickle him. Then Pinkie gasped and jumped in the air "I should throw you a welcome my cousin and Totty to ponyville party!"

Totty flew up off the ground, grabbed Pinkie and tossed her up like a father tosses a baby into the air. "that is a great idea" he said with extreme excitement, as he caught Pinkie.

"Is this a normal party or a communist party? " Crazie asked as she began to dig through her bag.

"An exciting party." Pinkie replied in a voice that almost added of course to what she said.

"Didn't you do that last time we were here?" Crazie added without looking up from her bag.

"No, that was a Welcome to Ponyville Party, unless you mean that time after that, that was a party for Totty it was the first time, Totty had been in Ponyville; then there was the time when we were fillies, but that was not in Ponyville and you would not be thinking of that cause that would not make any sense, and there was that one time where you came to see me when I was sick, but you just seemed to be here get my muffin recipe; but I did not know what was in the recipe because Applejack was the one who put the ingredients in..." Pinkie Pie said in one breath she would have continued if Crazie had not magically shut her mouth.

"That will be fine. We need a place to stay tonight anyway."

"GREAT!" Pinkie yelled as she ran off toward town, moving so fast it looked like she was running on air.  
Totty landed next to Crazie as Crazie pulled out a small gem stone, and dropped it on the ground. It bounced a few times.

"This way Totty." Crazie said as she hopped off the train station platform.

"Buuuuut the party." Totty said in a sad soft voice as his lip started to quiver. "OOOOOOOH we can get some ice cream for the party!" Totty ran after Crazie.

* * *

"So your Pinkie's cousin?" Asked a Purple unicorn with a dark crimson streak in her mane and tail. "I did not get a chance to meet you last time you were here."

"You smell like bacon." Crazie replied in almost a flirtatious voice.

"Ummm... Thank you?" Twilight replied in an uncomfortable voice.

"No, thank you." Crazie said as she pulled a rose pink hair form Twilight's mane, with her mouth.

"Ouch." Twilight said with more surprise in her voice than pain. "What did you do that for?"

"I need it, and you were not using it." Crazie said as she bounced away.

"Well she walks like Pinkie Pie." Twilight said under her breath.

On the other side of the room Totty exclaimed with a mouth full of ice cream and excitement "I know. The wonderbolts are the best!" As Totty said as bits of ice cream flew from his mouth.

A sky blue pegasus with a rainbow colored mane named Rainbow Dash replied confidently "exactly, and some day I am going to be one of them."

"Really?" Totty replied with absolute amazement.

"Yes, I am the best flyer in all of Equestria." Rainbow Dash said as she puffed up her chest.

Totty's eyes grew large with amazement. "Can you show me?"

"Yeah, sure lets just go outside." RD quickly replied.

As Totty and RD walked toward the exit Pinkie Pie hopped off the dance floor and landed in front of them. "Are you two leaving already?" Pinkie asked.

"No Pinkie. I am just going to show Totty here some tricks." Dash replied "We will be right back."  
"OHHHHh can I come and watch!" Pinkie exclaimed in extreme excitement as she bounced off the ground a little. "I know, why don't we all go outside? Hay everypony Rainbow Dash is going to do some tricks outside why don't we go out and watch!?"

With that everypony made their way outside. Rainbow started as soon as everypony was outside. Totty was completely entranced by the spectacular display given by Rainbow dash. It was truly amazing she could make almost impossible turns at incredible speeds only to finish off with a backflip or barrelroll then immediately into another trick. It was about 5 minutes in that Totty realized he had not seen Crazie outside. He asked the beautiful Rarity, a white unicorn, standing next to him if she had seen Crazie.

"You mean Pinkie's Cousin? Last that I saw her, she jumped on me and then ran away screaming that I was infected and would give her the vogueism."

"Yep that's her." Totty replied with a smile on his face. "Where did she run too."  
"I think she ran into the kitchen."

"What are you doing?" Totty said as he cocked his head to the right a little.

"Shhhhhhh. I am checking for poison. The only way to know for sure is too smell the glasses." Crazie replied as if she was a teacher answering a question in class.

"Oh that makes sense, but you are missing the best flyer in Equestria."

"I already met Rainbow Dash."

"Well I know, but have you seen her fly? I am surprised she is not part of the Wonderbolts by now."

"That is the last one." Crazie said as she placed the glass on the counter. "Good night." Crazie started to curl up in the corner of the kitchen.

"You have a bed upstairs, don't you? Why are you going to sleep this early? The party just started 4 hours ago?" Totty asked fairly confused.

"BEDS! That is where they want you to sleep. I need sleep for tomorrow."

"Well ok Crazie, good night." And with that Crazie's horn glow as she cast her sleeping spell on herself and she was out as fast as a balloon pops on a bed of sharp nails.

The rest of the party Totty mingled with a lot of ponies and met about 5% of Pinkie's friends' that is about half of the permanent residents in Ponyville.

* * *

"Y'all better wake up, it's almost noon." Applejack, an orange pony who helps run the famous Sweet Apple Orchards of Ponyville, nuzzled Crazie's side.

Crazie jumped up "What are you doing here?"

"Well Sugar Cube Ah stayed the night cause the party lasted longer then Ah thought it would. We just cleaned up, and Ah'll be heading home now, just thought you would want to get up."

"Good. You need to leave." Crazie said and then proceeded to laugh awkwardly.

"All ready then, Ah'll be going now." AJ said in a rather uncomfortable voice. "Bye Pinkie, Bye Totty."

"Bye" They both replied from the other room.

"She is awake ah think. She is acting a little weird."

Totty came running around the corner and jumped on Crazie saying "good morning" as he hugged her. "Pinkie, and I stayed up all night; I had no idea that sleepovers meant not sleeping."

"You sure you aren't related to Pinkie too?"

Applejack said to Totty as she opened the door.

"I don't think so maybe on my father's side. Why?"

"Nothing you just act a lot like her. Well the apples ain't gonna to buck themselves," Applejack said as she walked out the back door.

"Totty, it is time for us to go."

"Do we have to? We never met your friend, and I am thirsty." Totty said in a voice that was somewhere between a sad whimpering and talking.

"Do you have to leave?" Pinkie, said with a quivering lip, standing in the doorway to the kitchen.  
"Yes, right now. I only have a small window of time to talk with my friend, and I need to get just outside of Ponyville to do that."

"OK," both Totty and Pinkie said as their heads fell forward in sadness.

* * *

"Um... could you give that... back... if you don't mind.." said the a yellow Pegasus Fluttershy in a pathetically timid voice, the volume getting lower with each word.

"Hay, stop that!" Totty said as he flew over to the pony that had taken Fluttershy's bag.

Crazie did not stop to help, but merely looked at the thief and Totty and just kept on going through the marketplace.

Totty caught up with the the thief in no time at all.

The thief shot a blast of energy from his horn. "Take that you goody goody!" The thief shouted over his shoulder.  
Totty fell to the ground and for the first time in a long time looked up with an angry look on his face. Totty was not one to get angry very often. In what seemed to be one movement, Totty jumped forward spread his wings, and tackled the thief with such force that the scoundrel was knocked unconscious as soon as he hit the ground. Totty, standing over his motionless body, said "It is not nice to take things from somepony else." A police pony came up next to Totty "I saw the whole thing good job son, I would not want to see you angry," the police officer said as he cuffed the thieving unicorn and put an anti-magic cover on his horn.

Totty grabbed the purse and handed it to Fluttershy almost ignoring the police pony's comment all together. "Here you go. Fluttershy, wasn't it?"

"Umm... Yeah it is... Thank you."

"No problem." Totty replied in a voice that said he'd be happy to have done that for anypony. "You are one of the ponies who saved Equestria from Nightmare Moon, and Discord aren't you? I forgot to ask at the party last night. I met the other five: Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie last night, but I did not talk to you much."

"Yes... I mean I am one of those six... but I am not much help." Fluttershy said as she gently scraped one of her front hooves against the ground and timidly looked down away from Totty.

"Well I have to get going. Crazie wanted me to meet somepony, and I think I am late," Totty said as he began to turn away. Then, looking back to Fluttershy, he said, "maybe you're like the ice that goes into ice cream; it is the least bold of the flavors, but without it, well, it is just cream, nothing special."

Fluttershy just stood there looking at Totty.

"I love ice cream... hmmm I need to get some hot fudge when I get back home and have a hot fudge sundae." Totty spread his wings and flew into the air.

* * *

"There you are, Crazie; I was looking everywhere for you. Why didn't you stop to help Fluttershy?" Totty said as he landed in a puddle next to Crazie, who was standing on damp ground on the hillside overlooking Ponyville.

" I needed to get here as soon as I could, and you could take that guy easy. You did not need me."  
Totty's smile seemed to say 'thank you' and 'that makes sense' all at the same time.

"Here you go, I got you something to drink," Crazie said as she handed Totty a glass.

"Thank you. What is it?"

"It is chocolate milk. Oh and don't drink the glass it tastes horrible."

Totty chuckled as he took a sip "Crazie, are the trees and ground covered in chocolate milk?"

"My friend has a thing for the stuff. It was practically raining from the sky."

"Where is he?"

"He had to go back home."

"Ohh so I missed him" Totty said sadly "I wanted to thank him for the chocolate milk."

"Well, maybe next time. We need to go before we miss our train."

* * *

Later that day Twilight Sparkle received a message.

Dear Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student.

I have disconcerting news. The statue that has imprisoned Discord has cracked. I have checked and he has not escaped. However, I cannot fix the crack. Every time anypony tries to repair the damaged statue the crack only reappears. This crack doesn't appear to be getting any worse, but I am having the greatest minds in Equestria gather to study this. As such I would like to ask you to come to Canterlot, and help the other ponies figure out what Discord is up to now. I am sorry to take you away from your studies in Ponyville, but I need my brightest student.

This cannot be a good omen; I fear that something big is coming.

Princess Celestia.


End file.
